For my children…

I was asked to write a guest post (re-blogged below) for the lovely www.stumblinginflats.com. Do take at look at her site. She connects with many other MS bloggers/survivors and is keen to network with others. Thanks to her for the guest blog opportunity. I decided to write about something that is a little unspoken for many of us mums whose lives have been touched by MS.

 

Anyone who has been diagnosed with MS knows this is big. The implications of your diagnosis for your children are huge, though in many respects are as yet unknown. Like so much about this condition, you are left with a cloud of uncertainty under which you must continue to raise your precious loves.  Like me I am sure many of you read the information and depending on what and where you read it, it will mean different things. At the very least your kids are a lot more likely to get MS than a kid whose parent doesn’t have MS. 20 -40 times more likely than someone who doesn’t have a parent with MS. Shit.  

I had unknowingly passed on my blue eyes, a love of musicals and a genetic vulnerability to MS.

 I spent a lot of time feeling guilty about this. When I didn’t feel guilty I felt terrified. Then sad. Then a bit angry. Then sad. You get the idea… What I have learned this year though, and New Year seems a good time to reflect, is that remaining in the sad/angry/guilty ‘fug’ was not going to help my kids.

So. I began to think how I would want them to respond to their MS if it did become a reality for them. Just thinking like that was a pretty painful process, as you can imagine. But once I started it became quite clear.

Their response to it would undoubtedly be informed by their mother’s response to it. By the extent to which they saw their mother fight for her health. By the extent to which they saw MS dictate to her what she could and could not do. By how strong she was. I would want them to think “well, it never stopped Mum doing anything” and then bugger off and climb Kilimanjaro or something equally wonderful and exciting. Because that is what I want for my kids. The same as any other parent. I want their life to be wonderful, adventurous and exciting. Happy and healthy. Full of love.  I want them to be able to ‘dare greatly’ because they feel strong and fearless. Because they know they are loved.

For them to do this, I need to live my life fearlessly. I need to be strong, happy and to love them and my life fully in spite of its challenges. I can make a practical impact on their views about food, what they eat, if they exercise and how they can live an optimally healthy life. Above all though, I do not want them to feel afraid if MS comes into their life. Into their brain. When I began to think in this way I was flooded with a new energy to face the future. It all began to seem quite simple. I am doing it all, for them.

 

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3 thoughts on “For my children…

  1. Reblogged this on rightfromthestart and commented:
    This post was originally written by a dear friend of mine who writes about her life since she was diagnosed with MS. We all want the best for our children but what do you do when you know that you may have passed on a genetic condition? Please visit her blog Memsand beingmum.wordpress.com to follow her story and to offer support to anyone you may know who has with MS. She is a true inspiration to us all.

  2. Hi,
    I am Meg, I have MS and I blog about it. I ran across your blog through twitter recommendations. I am working on a re-vamp of the blog (I say it is having plastic surgery:) One of the features that I am working on, is a grand master list of ALL THINGS MS – meaning all the sites that I find regarding MS, whether it be a personal blog, a medical site, and even the fb and other on-line support groups that are out there.
    Although I am not completely savy to all things in the blogger world and don’t know whether I am required to ask for permission, I AM writing to each site, to ask if it would be ok to be included in this list. I realize that my style of writing, humor and complete honesty may not be for everyone and certainly not my intention to upset anyone, just provide one more resource for all those that are lucky enough to have this fantastical disease:)
    Would it be alright to include your blog? If you would prefer to not be included, no worries:)

    I look forward to hearing back from you and reading more on your blog!

    Cheers,
    Meg
    http://www.bbhwithms.com/

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