shedding an old skin

while some days I am so strong, other days  I do not know who I am anymore. So much of what I thought was certain about myself seems to have changed. My profession and my beliefs led me to value the psychological , and here I am a victim of simple biological processes. I am feeling a little lost.

Day to day life goes on. Buying school uniform, new shoes, football club drops offs need to be done. My kids friends come to tea. My friends get married. Children ground you in an amazing way, but man can family life test you… Trying to ‘juggle’ has taken on a new meaning and I am beginning to wonder how I will ever manage to get back to work and manage all this. And them. Something that’s a difficult thought when you have spent a decade studying and qualifying, and then almost another decade pursuing that career. A career that focussed on helping others. The futility is, at times, striking.

Dedicating time to my new study – understanding MS and finding ways to overcome it has been helpful. I am hugely encouraged by George Jelinek’s work at  www.overcomingmultiplesclerosis.org and his best selling book. A highly accredited and distinguised medic, researcher and MS survivor he offers hope where mainstream medicine gives little. I am familiar in my professional life with drug companies often questionable motives and find it little wonder that there is little interest in the good evidence for changes in diet and supplements of fish oils, omega 3 and vitamin D3… not much money in these natural substances maybe?

At other times, in these early days, just the fact that support and hope can only be found across the internet and through a faceless forum of people I have never, and am never likely to meet is bitter sweet. A reminder that some good friends have failed to reply to my last email confirming my MS diagnosis. To feel truly alone is to face something like this. That is not to deny the support from some hugely important people who will never truly know how much it has meant.

So it looks like ages 36+ for me will provide me with challenges anew. I feel as if I’m shedding a skin but have not grown my new one. One thing i know is my most important job is being Mum. So i need to find a way to be (the new) me.

 

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4 thoughts on “shedding an old skin

  1. Hi Rach

    I’m a Mum with MS also. I’ve been diagnosed now for nearly one year. The first year they tell me is the hardest and indeed it has been but there is genuine light now at the end of my tunnel.

    I have just returned from an MS retreat in the Yarra Valley, Victoria headed by George Jelinek. Thank goodness for his amazing work in the field of MS. He is truely an inspiration as were others that were there.

    You are feeling quite alone and maybe a little lost right now Rach but trust me it will fade and you will become stronger.

    I trust you are embracing the OMS lifestyle change which I have done also. I feel so much better than when I was first diagnosed.

    So take some very deep breathes Rach and slowly day by day you will get there.

    Take care my dear.

    S

    • thanks for the words of support. I would love to be able to attend a retreat…but I am in the UK! I wonder if they ever run any retreats over here…? Do you know? I am following the programme & feel less fatigued than I have done. Good days bad days at this stage I guess…
      Todays a good day 🙂
      stay in touch
      and be well

      • Hi Rach

        There was talk on the retreat that they were thinking of running a retreat in the UK maybe next year. You can contact the Gawler Foundation in Australia to get some information on this.

        Even if you never attend a retreat, George’s book and the website offer so much valuble information.

        Next year I believe, George will be putting out another book, this time it will be detailing success stories of people following the OMS lifestyle change – we will both stayed tunned.

        Take care

        S

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